Big Bird

after my anomaly scan a week ago, a sonographer approached me and asked if i want to volunteer as a test subject for their fetal heart scanning course. the governing trust that did my scan (which is also where i work) is a teaching hospital and they run different courses to train people in their respective fields from all over the country. she said im a really good candidate because of my slim structure, which would make seeing the baby very easy. since the course was set on my day off, i said yes. it's another good excuse to see the baby!

the course is to train sonographers to detect anomalies of the fetal heart. there were 4 of us (pregnant ladies) who volunteered at that particular time slot and there were 20 people booked for the course. i had 5 people testing me for an hour. the course instructor assigned to me was a male senior OB-GYNE consultant and he was very good. before the scanning began, i asked the consultant if he'll be kind enough to confirm my baby's gender (hoping? lol). i told him that i was told the baby's a boy and i just want to see the proof =D (im just curious at what they look at/for and it's all interesting to me).

after the scan, he showed me and there it was... no doubting it's a boy lol! he took some pictures and gave them to me. too bad the whole body profile wont print and they were running out of time so i just ended up with 2 facial profiles and the pututoy pic =D. they also gave me chocolates as a token of appreciation. if it wasn't for the parking problem i had (i had to park in a very tight spot!!! - lack of space), it would have been a perfectly good experience.

oh, the scan went very well. the structure of baby's heart is all good. he was also very cooperative that the doctor said they didnt have to manipulate the probe much to get a very good view =D

the clue is in the 3rd picture!
credits: shabby princess gabby album badge

What's In A Name

ever since we conceived our first child, tantan was adamant that we name our son DIEGO ANGELO (as in ang-he-lo). angelo - maybe, but diego... over my dead body! i just dont like the way it sounds. fortunately, i got my way and we named our first born, CAYDEN GABRIEL.

im now pregnant with our second boy. the daddy is insisting again that we call him diego angelo. a resounding NO from me. but as a compromise, we'll be using angelo (an-je-lo this time) as second name, para name ulit ng angel =D

here are the suggested first names prior to coming up with the one:
- gian
- aiden (but it sounds like cayden a lot, the kids might get confused)
- tristan
- eiichi (we started looking at japanese names)
- jiro
- kenji
- pedro (tantan suggested this)
- juan (this as well!)
- bronson (my sister suggested this as pang-inis lol - remember kasal kasali kasalo?)
- mikhail
- calvin

but finally, we agreed on the name KEAN. so baby #2 will be known as KEAN ANGELO =D

edit: correction, says the daddy. it should be KIAN not kean =D

Blue

blue as in boy!

credits: shabby princess, gabby badge album

i had my anomaly scan tuesday last week (@20 weeks and 3 days). i went alone as tantan wasnt given time off work to join me (school issues). anyways, i was a bit anxious and scared. i've never been to a scan, much more a very important (anomaly and gender) one, alone. my antenatal care is done at home (my midwife comes to my house) so that doesnt count - im in my comfort zone!

i was at the hospital on time, but as always, i was seen more than 20 minutes later. fortunately, the sonographer who did my scan was really chatty and has a very calming voice. i asked for 3 things:
1) pictures, of course! (if you dont ask, you dont get them. boo!)
2) to check if my subchorionic bleed is still present (it's been absorbed already so no more risks. yey!)
3) to tell me the gender

i will be a hypocrite if i tell you i didnt wish for a girl. as i've said previously, i HOPED for a boy just because we still have lots of baby boy things and it meant we wont be buying any more stuff. but i WISHED for a girl because it's still different if you've got one of each. and my our limit is 2! so i guess, i'll be the only one b*tching the boys around *evil laugh*.

i was almost certain we're having a girl this time. for one, i think i conceived days after contact (but tantan will say otherwise). then, i dont have an obvious linea negra (with cayden, around this time, i already have it and it went well past my navel) - they said if the line went up beyond the navel, you'll have a boy. if not, a girl. of course, this is one of those old wive's tales... then my first trim was totally the opposite of my pregnancy with cayden - it was a lot more difficult!

but i got over it as quickly as the sonographer told me it's a boy. im happy that the baby is healthy and i was able to get a close up view of its cute face (yawning!). and that's what matters most.

What's Wrong With Black?

we went out last saturday to celebrate our 2nd baby's good health (had my anomaly scan last tuesday and everthing's fine). of course, cayden got a treat as well. he needs new shoes as he's outgrown his current weird ones. i said weird because the tags say they're the same size and i swear, i remember the man at the till checking that both shoes are exactly the same length (and we always, always!, compare the length ourselves to make sure they're the same size). but they're not. one is definitely shorter than the other! and we only found out a month ago when cayden has been wearing them for about 8 months already!

anyways, tantan didnt like the shoes i chose (and eventually bought) for cayden because it's black. he wanted the blue one with green laces and they were too baduy for my taste. tantan said cayden will look mature (duh!) with his shoes. and that black is dull, like school shoes. i, however, find it simple but stylish.

i got my way but tantan's not too happy about it - always saying how ugly it looks lol! i think there's nothing wrong with buying toddlers black shoes as long as they're comfy and he can walk without any problems. whatever he says, i always get my way, especially with shopping for the kids. i dont trust him with that. im sure cayden will look baduy if tantan starts dressing him up!

Mega Doodle

we havent bought cayden any new toys since he was 6 months old (or I just don’t remember?! Im sure tantan will say otherwise lol). The majority of his toys were bought even before he was born (we’re hoarders like that!). And some of them were gifts from last Christmas and his birthday. And of course, no child can resist ordinary household junk like cardboards, paper and plastic bottles.

We think he has outgrown most of them or probably just a case of being too familiar that he doesn’t want to play with them anymore. He just scatters them all over the floor and I think it gives him pleasure seeing all the mess around. He prefers running, shredding paper, climbing on furniture, opening cabinets and drawers over his current toys. We thought it’s time to buy him something new.

We got him 2 boxes of mega blocks, but only opened one box. he’s interested in the blocks alright, but to put in his mouth or to scatter them around as there’s plenty to throw about! I think it’s the mommy and daddy who are more excited in building things. But usually, when he sees us building, he’ll join in. but if it’s just him – either he throws them everywhere, or would get in the box (container) and will ask to have the steering wheel of his bike detached from it and have someone pull or push him around. Once in a while, we’ll see him building (at least he knows how to connect the blocks) but more often than not, he just uses the box to step on to get to higher places lol

pics from phone cam

Another thing we got him is the glo doodle. We originally bought him the mega sketcher but we didn’t like it. The material isn’t sturdy and erasing the doodle takes several attempts. I searched for an alternative and found the glo doodle online and although a lot more expensive (only a few retailers selling here), I think, the mommy cayden will enjoy it more. You can change the light, it’s easy to erase the doodle and since it’s see-through, you can trace whatever you want. He loves playing with it. We bought it mainly for educational purposes but because cayden is stubborn, he wont let me teach him! He would take the pen from me or he would erase my doodle (yes, he knows how to!). he does everything his way and we let him (good or bad? hmmmnn)

He’s a very independent kid. Since he’s still young, we don’t force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. We let him take his time. But im sure when his brother is old enough to play with him, he’ll be more cooperative and do what big brothers do (but I hope it’s not setting a bad example!) lol.

Blooper on Day 2

tantan's original sched in uni is every wednesday, 1-5pm. when he went to his induction last week, he was told they changed the sched to 3-7pm. if you remember, tantan is just doing the part-time course so his classes are just once a week. but the rest of his class is doing full time so they are in school everyday.

last wednesday, technically his 2nd day in school, he went to his supposedly first class at 3pm. when he got to the classroom, he was surprised to find that there are mostly young girls (scantily dressed, as he excitedly informed me), which he havent seen before. he was sure he got the classroom right. he ignored that major fact and stayed until the prof talked to him (new face?). then he found out, he was in a FASHION class and nothing to do with his course (business IT, remember?). his sched was changed back again to the original one, 1-5, and he wasnt informed (the course director has his email and he knows tantan can only come to class once a week)!

he missed his first class but i dont think he minded. tsk tsk...

Sleeping On His Own

cayden has been sleeping on his own for a couple of months now. he used to sleep with tantan and i but since baby number 2 is on the way, we had to train him to sleep on his own bec baby#2 will be taking over his place =D

we said we'll train him once he's 1 yr old. but we waited till after a month later because when we came back here from our holiday in the phils, he went to nursery and we didnt want to add to the stress of being away from us gave him. my mom came end of june (cayden stopped going to nursery then) and soon after, we bought cayden his proper toddler bed (he didnt want to sleep in his old crib).

at first, we thought tantan and i would need to sleep with him in his room, take it one step at a time. but we were surprised that he slept without any hitch. he slept through till about 6am. we didnt get any sleep (mostly me) for the 1st week because any slight movement, i'd be up and in his room right away, which was really unnecessary. he would usually sleep through the night but wake up really early in the morning (around 5 or 6am). when he used to sleep with us, he'd sleep through till about 7 or 8am. no complaints there, anyhow. he's sleeping on his bed in his own room by himself.

but lately, he'd wake up in the middle of the night crying, asking for milk, and i guess, a cuddle. thing is, he would not stop until it's me who comes to him. my mom and tantan couldnt pacify him. i think he could sense that in the near future, there'll be competition for mommy's attention.

he sleeps at around 8:30pm. then would sleep through until around 3am.  i have to get up and give him some milk and a cuddle. then he'll go back to sleep but sometimes,  i'll ask tantan to just get cayden and bring him to our bed. bad practice, i know! to be honest, i miss him sleeping beside me. i miss smelling him when he's asleep. so i dont really mind him moving back to our bed. another reason is, im getting heavier and i dont feel much comfortable anymore. and lying down on his bed is not that comfortable (not that it's not soft or anything - it's just small for me =D). if tantan goes to cayden's room to attend to him, he'll just carry on crying until i come to the rescue.

i know we'll need to stop moving him back to our bed. but at the moment, it's convenient for me to just bring him there rather than get up twice to pacify him. i hope this is just a phase and once he sees there's no need to worry about mommy not having enough time for him when baby #2 comes, he'll feel more confident sleeping on his own again.

Counting Our Blessings

i know i whine a lot - i need more time... i want to travel some more... i want to buy these and that.. i feel tired.... i cant breathe.... but who doesnt? we are born whiners (or is it just me lol)! anyways, despite that, deep inside, im truly grateful at all the things god is blessing us with.

tantan is generally well, despite his diabetes. cayden is healthy and a happy toddler. another healthy baby on the way. my extended family, despite the distance, is still close, everyone healthy and safe. tantan and i have jobs and we can expect a regular monthly income. we dont have any debts, whatsoever (well, except for our mortgage =D) and we still can afford to finance a few small businesses in the philippines (2 taxis and probably another 1 on the pipeline - joint venture with a couple of tantan's brods. and a 2bed-condo unit in boni). cayden has 4 savings accounts (topped up monthly), which he will share with his brother when they're older. and despite our very tight budget, tantan and i can still afford to save a little on the side.

i know some people think we are well off but really, we just have enough for our everyday needs. we just know how to budget our money wisely (and tantan scrimps most of the time lol). yes, we can buy what we want (if we want to) but we try to ward off temptations (although sometimes i succumb to them!) because there are more important things to prioritise like our kids' future. we want them to have a good life and we want to set a good example - that spending their own hard-earned money is a lot more fulfilling than relying on other people's graces.

i just wish some people would stop thinking that we grow our own money on trees. not because we're overseas, we're floating in loads of cash. we have expenses too and it's really expensive to live here despite the salary being relatively high. we try to share whatever extras we have but really, our kids are our priorities now.

let's just all count our blessings and be happy and satisfied with what we have. afterall, we make our own fate. no one else to blame but ourselves. we make the decisions, we should live with the consequences.

Wrong Reaction

last night, tantan and cayden were playing upstairs. when they went back downstairs, tantan told us a funny story that cayden did while they were up. he said cayden found his insulin pen (dont worry, no needle!). he was amused and surprised when cayden lifted his shirt up and was trying to poke his tummy with the pen, just like what tantan does whenever he takes his shots.

so when we went up, i wanted to see for myself. i gave him the pen and again, he lifted his shirt up and poked his belly with it. me and my mom were so amused we just laughed at what he did. but he thought we were laughing at him and that what he did was wrong (well, he shouldnt be doing it really, but like i was saying before, kids learn very quickly). normally, we would clap our hands to reward whatever cute, amusing or good thing he did. but we just laughed. his face was like, did i do something wrong... he was close to tears and though we tried to clap when we realised this, it was too late. when we tried giving him the pen again, he just threw it away. tsk tsk... bad mommy and lola!

Back To Uni

tantan's going back to school. he'll be taking up masters in business information technology at southampton solent university. i dont have a clue to what it is but it's related to his current job (he's a web developer). he'll be doing it part time, with classes once a week, on a wednesday afternoon. it's because that's the only time his current employer will allow him away from work. he will also be shouldering all the expenses, the company will not be paying for any part of it. just as well, so he wont be tied to them with a contract whatsoever. classes start next wednesday. to make up for the time he'll be away, he will work an hour and a half extra on a tuesday afternoon and an hour on a wednesday morning. that means, he wont be able to come with me to my scan next week. boo!!! the company didnt give him permission (double boo!)!

anyways, last wednesday was his enrollment and induction day. at lunch time, i asked him how it's been going so far. he said it's hard. i asked why and this is his reply: it's hard to concentrate. daming babaeng halos wala ng saplot. hahaha, and i thought he's having difficulty with the curriculum!